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Alcohol Funny Quotes

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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
-- Jean Kerr

I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?
-- Paula Poundstone

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.
-- Fred Allen

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collector's and miss.
-- Robert A Heinlein

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.
-- Richard Harris

The wages of gin is breath.
-- Oliver Herford

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
-- Anonymous

Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

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