Baby Funny Quotes

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My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he said, 'Is this a joke?'
-- Ken Dodd

"Delivery" is the wrong word to describe the childbearing process. Delivery is: "Here's your pizza. Takes 30 minutes or less." "Exorcism," I think, is more apt: "Please! Get the hell out of my body!"
-- Jeff Stilson

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
-- Robert Orben

Did you ever notice that a new baby always seem to bear a striking resemblance to the relative who has the most money?
-- Robert Paul