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Computer Funny Quotes

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Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
-- Sam Ewing

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
-- Milton Berle

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke (Clarke's 69th Law, The Odyssey File, 1984)

It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart.
-- Al Pacino (Pacino on Digitized Actors/Celebrities - About.com Interview, Simone Premier, 2002)

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
-- Robert Paul

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.
-- Robert Paul

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
-- Edsgar Dijkstra

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
-- Edsgar Dijkstra

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
-- Thomas Watson

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.
-- Robert Paul

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
-- Paul Ehrlich

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-- Issac Asimov

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
-- Issac Asimov

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
-- Emo Philips

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