My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous
man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold
it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
-- Chic Murray
I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation.
I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!
-- Ronnie Shakes
I quit flying years ago. I don't want to die with tourists.
-- Billy Bob Thornton
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
-- Mark Twain (New York Journal, June 1897)
The man that runs away lives to die another day.
-- A. E. Housman (A Shropshire Lad, 1896)
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
-- Sam Levenson
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all
I can say is: when I go, they go too.
-- Jack Benny
Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
-- Terry Pratchett (Strata, 1981)
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for
life.
-- Jimi Hendrix
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever
to do with it.
-- Somerset Maugham
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
-- Proverb
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls
taper off.
-- Johnny Carson
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries
page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
-- Patrick Moore
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
-- George Burns
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
-- Aldous Huxley
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
-- Mark Twain
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting
me is another matter.
-- Winston Churchill |