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Political Funny Quotes

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One of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention.
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.
-- Dave Letterman

[On his running for California Governor] It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
-- Harry S. Truman (circa 1962)

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
-- P. J. ORourke

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
-- H. L. Mencken

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
-- Milton Berle

I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes until everyone was in assembly. It was the beginning of power.
-- Jeffrey Archer

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties.
-- George Clooney

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
-- Texas Guinan

The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.
-- Claude D. Pepper

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
-- Frank McKinney Hubbard

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
-- Larry Hardiman

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.
-- Will Durant

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
-- Will Rogers

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
-- Plato

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
-- Unknown

Half a truth is better than no politics.
-- G. K. Chesterton

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