I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the
answers blank and got 100.
-- Woody Allen
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
-- Norm Crosby
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was
in my class for five years.
-- Gracie Allen
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw
the teacher out of the window.
-- Rodney Dangerfield (Back to School, 1986)
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file
line from the smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
-- Warren Hutcherson
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write
essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
-- Lenny Bruce
My school days were the happiest days of my life, which should give you some indication
of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
-- Paul Merton
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
-- Yogi Berra
In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't
have any, they gave you some.
-- Emo Philips |