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War Funny Quotes

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We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
-- Elayne Boosler

I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed there would be no more war.
-- Abbie Hoffman

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here...This is the War Room!
-- Peter Sellers (Dr. Strangelove, 1964)

War is delightful to those who have not experienced it.
-- Desiderius Erasmus

I'm for peace -- I've yet to see a man wake up in the morning and say, 'I've just had a good war.'
-- Mae West

We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush...And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.
-- Michael Moore (at the 2003 Oscars®)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-- Elayne Boosler

War is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.
-- Bart Simpson (From Bart The General, written by John Swartzwelder)

Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.
-- John Fowles (The Magus, 1965)

You can't say civilization isn't advancing; in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.
-- George W. Bush (Newsweek, Sep 24, 2001)

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
-- Bertrand Russell

I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein

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